Saturday, July 18, 2015

AVOIDING THE RATPACKS





The first two things I did when I entered “retirement mode” a couple of years ago were eat when I’m hungry and sleep when I’m tired. I realised that I no longer had to comply with the 9 to 5 routine so there was no need for set meal times or sleep times. I stopped wearing a watch. Now there is only night time or day time.

The next thing I did was get rid of my phones, the landline and the mobile. These are the greatest “intrusions of privacy” ever invented. Now my day is uninterrupted and I can get on with my business. All my communication with outside world is done via email. Email is great, I can send messages when I want and answer messages when I want.

The other thing I did was avoid the rat packs. I hate queues and crowds. I do my errands and shopping “off peak”, usually mid morning or mid afternoon on week days when the kids are in school and the adults are at work.

I avoid the pubs and clubs during week-ends, especially Friday and Saturday nights. There are more hospital admissions and police call outs on Friday and Saturday nights than any other times during the week.

Once you enter “retirement mode”, the routine of the rat packs is very predictable. Most of them are running loose on week-ends so this is when I do my work. Week days are when I enjoy my time off free from crowds and queues. The only thing you have to remember during week days is to avoid peak hours of traffic. This is usually 7am to 9am and 3pm to 6pm.

I live about 100 yards from the beach so the rat pack arrives on hot week-end days during summer. About the only good thing is there are usually a lot of bikini girls. I’m not a prude so if they want to flaunt their bodies in public that is ok by me.

The only thing about lots of bikini girls is that they attract lots of young ratbag drivers in hotted up cars. They think the only way to attract the attention of the bikini girls is to screech tyres going around a corner or do burn-outs. I’m sure the bigger the car they have the smaller their brains.

Then there are the Harley bike riders who do laps. I’m sure they don’t have mufflers on Harley motor bikes. Maybe that’s the attraction to them. By the end of some week-ends in summer, the locals are glad to see the end of the rat pack.

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